


Detachable

by efrondeur



Category: RWBY
Genre: Crack, Double Anal Penetration, Double Penetration, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-23 22:25:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7482303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/efrondeur/pseuds/efrondeur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There were many things about James that Qrow loved. He was loving, caring, and, surprisingly, a very fun and charismatic person. But, one big thing, pun fully intended, was his detachable metal funky minguses.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Detachable

**Author's Note:**

> So. I don't know what this is. 
> 
> Just... Blame IDS. Mainly TheJadeSongbird and AniPenDragon.
> 
> Also, I still suck at writing sex, and I did not edit this at all. #sorrynotsorry

There were many things about James that Qrow loved. He was loving, caring, and, surprisingly, a very fun and charismatic person. But, one big thing, pun fully intended, was his detachable metal funky minguses.

He had five different types, a hot pink, ribbed, plastic rod of pleasure, a glass fuck stick, a metal vibrator, another metal weewee that Qrow nicknamed ‘The Destroyer’, and just a regular, plain ole metal whoopee rod.

All worked perfectly fine without being attached to James… as long as Qrow was careful not to lose them inside of himself. However, when James decided that Qrow was being an assholeㅡso pretty much alwaysㅡhe ‘hid’ all his dicks on top of the fridge, just out of Qrow’s reach.

“Qrow, were you a punk ass bitch today?” asked James, jokingly.

There was a pause. “Maybe…,” answered Qrow. “Wait why?”

He heard some shuffling and a familiar sound of a box being placed on top of the fridge. “God _dammit_!”

“You can try again tomorrow,” said James

“Yeah, yeah.” There was a moment of silence, then _I Know You Want Me_ by Pitbull came on.

There was another beat of silence. “Get the _fuck_ out,” said James.

Qrow got up and started to move towards the door.

“Sit down!” yelled James.

That man wasn’t even in the room, and he still knew… James might actually know him too well.

“Only if I get the knobs back,” said Qrow, pausing halfway towards the door.

“Too much of the McDick leads to obesity, Qrow.”

Qrow walked over to the kitchen and saw James finish up washing the dishes. “That was hands down the worst comeback I have ever heard,” he said as he crossed his arms over his chest, leaning on the counter.

“Yeah, well, you didn’t leave.” James finished washing the last dish, set it down, and turned around to look at Qrow.

“Just show me your wang doodles,” ~~Steve~~ , “James.”

James rolled his eyes, and got the box off of the fridge. Qrow, *Chris Traeger voice* literally, jumped for joy.

“You go get ready, I need to go to the bathroom,” said James.

Qrow hummed, hopped off the counter, and practically skipped over to James, pulling the yeti down into a deep kiss. James swiped his lips with his tongue as he pulled back. “Bedroom,” he said, nodding his head towards it.

Qrow headed over to the bedroom, turned, saw James had already left for the bathroom, and undressed. His dingus was already standing at half-attention, like some really tired, hungover soldier who didn’t give a rat’s ass about anything around him… which was oddly fitting.

He laid down on the bed in a classic ‘draw-me-like-one-of-your-french-girls’ pose, and stroked his dongle until James walked into the room, carrying The Box, and was completely clothed. He gave Qrow one look over and visibly debated leaving. It wasn’t until Qrow closed his eyes and gasped, bucking up into his own hands, that James closed the door to their bedroom.

“Do you trust me?” asked James. Qrow opened his eyes, taking his hand off of his fudge hose, and looked at James.

“Of course,” he said slowly. He eyed James suspiciously.

James walked over to Qrow, grabbing one of his red ties. “Put this over your eyes, then lay on your stomach.”

Qrow obeyed. “Good job, Qrow,” said Qrow. He could almost feel James’ confused look.

“Do you have a self praise kink?” asked James.

“Depends on whether or not you’re going to kinkshame me.”

“Oh, I’ll kinkshame you to hell and back if I want to.” Qrow could hear James’ clothes rustling as he took them off.

“Will you know?” asked Qrow.

The bed dipped as James got on it. He laid on top of Qrow, his one-eyed giant pressed against Qrow’s anal fortress. It felt like metal, that narrowed it down to three possible peenors. “You bet your _glorious_ mounds I will,” growled James.

Qrow shivered. “You talk so _dirty_.”

James hummed. He nipped at Qrow’s ear, and then lifted himself off of Qrow, sitting back on his heels. Qrow heard the telltale sound of James opening the bottle of lube. Then gosh diddly darn there was a cool little finger bumbling around his little pucker. After a moment, James plunged one of his five metallic booty pleasurers into Qrow’s bootyhole.

Qrow moaned. Soon, James added another booty pleasurer, and then another. He crooked his fingers, pressing Qrow’s sex button. Qrow keened, grabbing at the pillow laying next to him and putting it under his arms. He worked Qrow open quickly, and deemed him ready.

He slipped his three booty pleasurers from Qrow. James felt Qrow shifting around on the bed. Probably slicking himself up…

Slowly, the hot pink, ribbed, plastic wiener, which Qrow has affectionately named Bertha, entered his rectum. Qrow screamed as it entered him. James chuckled above him. When the booty wand was all the way in, instead of feeling the press of James’ hips against him, he felt James’ flesh fingers.

“Whaa…,” said Qrow, starting to look back before remembering he had the tie wrapped around his eyes.

James slowly added in a booty pleasurer in alongside Bertha. Qrow rocked back into it, prompting James to add another. He was very careful as he worked open Qrow. Slower. Gentler.

Qrow felt James run kisses down his back as he scissored his booty pleasurers. As he made his way to Qrow’s ass crack, he added in a third. At this point, Qrow was crying into the blindfold.

“Are you okay?” asked James. He stopped moving his booty pleasurers. “Did I go too far?”

“No, no. God _please don’t stop_ ,” said Qrow, his voice cracking.

James worked at Qrow’s asshole for another minute before pulling out his booty pleasurers. Ever so slowly, he added in a mettalicock next to Bertha. The ribs of Bertha pressed into Qrow’s prostate _hard_. Qrow screamed into the pillow. This time, once the peenie weenie was all the way in, he felt James’ hips, as well as the fingers still holding Bertha, against his assular regions.

James didn’t move either egg roll, and, just as Qrow started to tell him to “get a fucking move on” he felt Lolly, the metal vibrating dick, turn on to it’s top setting.

Qrow screamed again, hips instinctively moving to get some sort of friction against the sheets after laying dormant for so long. James wrapped his metal arm around Qrow’s hips and lifted them up, putting him on his hands and knees. At the lost of friction, Qrow cried out.

It was too much. He had a ribbed noodle pressed against his prostate. Had a vibrator vibrating inside him and against Bertha. Had James above him, chuckling and stopping him from getting any sort of friction on his own cock. Had James’ metal hand wrapped around his hip, gripping him on the perfect side of too tight.

Then, James slowly pulled out Lolly, until just the tip remained inside, and then slammed back in. Qrow whimpered, arms giving out.

“Ja-James… plea… please… just… _touch me_ ,” said Qrow in between James’ thrusts. His voice was low and hoarse.

James listened. He brought his arm around Qrow and gave one sharp tug and Qrow came _screaming_. He clawed at the pillow under him.

“God. This. Is so. Fucking. Good,” growled James, each accented by a thrust. Qrow shuddered. James reached around and tugged off Qrow’s blindfold.

He looked back at James. He was flushed. His face, neck, and chest a bright red. Sweating all over. He looked at Qrow with hungry eyes. The blue of his irises were pushed to a sliver by his blown up pupils.

Qrow whimpered as his head fell down onto the pillow. He closed his eyes again. James just _wouldn’t stop._ Every minute movement pressed the ribs of Bertha against his oversensitive prostate. He whimpered again into the pillow, which he had in an utter death grip.

James moaned and tightened his grip on Qrow’s hips. He looked back as James’ rhythm stuttered. His head tipped back as he came in Qrow.

After a moment James pulled both rockhard fuck tools out of Qrow, throwing them on the by the foot of the bed, and laid down, pulling the smaller man down next to him.

The two took a moment to get their breathing under control before talking.

“You okay?” asked James, voice hoarse. He pressed a kiss to the top of Qrow’s head as he snuggled into James’ beep boop side.

Qrow hummed and pressed a kiss to James’ chest. “We’re doing that again.” Qrow’s voice sounded absolutely rekt.

“Anytime.” He pressed kiss to Qrow’s hair and settled his head into the pillows. “Goodnight, my Qrow.”

“Night, asshole destroyer.”

James and Qrow laughed.

“Shut up. Go the fuck to sleep,” said James as he laughed.

“Make me,” said Qrow as he snuggled further into James.

“I can fuck you again.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Qrow's names for James' dicks:  
> Hot pink, ribbed, plastic dick: Bertha  
> Glass dick: Helen  
> The Destroyer: The Destroyer  
> Metal vibrating dick: Lolly  
> Regular metal dick: Alex
> 
> Booty pleasurer = One of James' fingers
> 
> [Also, if you need reference for the Chris Traeger voice](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Xjka07o1-0)
> 
> [I'm on tumblr](http://qrowisbae.tumblr.com)


End file.
